Sorry to meet you

Sorry to meet you. That is what the Cardio Thorasic Surgeon (Dr. McKenna) told me when he discussed my diagnoses with Amadeo and I. Yes, I would have liked to have met this genius of a man at some birthday party.

So, here we are. Cancer and I. Who the HELL do you think you are coming into my life uninvited? Well, since you're here, you might as well sit down, have a glass of wine and get to know each other and figure out the best way to part ways.

These past nine days have been such a whirlwind. What started off as me going to see my primary physician because I was experiencing a cough and chest discmofort. Not to mention I was suffering from panick and anxiety attacks. First it was the chest x-ray. "Oh, Mrs. Cantu looks like you have walking pneumonia. So, we will get you on some antibiotics and oh, wait, the RADIOLOGIST wants to take a look at your chest x ray." WTF?

Got that dreadful call three hours later, from my physician saying they found a mass near my lungs and I need to get a CT scan pronto! Now folks, here we are on Friday, October 21st and this all started on Wednesday, October 12th when I went in to see my physician.

So, next day (October 13th), I am sitting at Torrance Memorial Breast Diagnostic Center, with Amadeo and with my mind racing and all these horrible thoughts running through my head. Will I live to take that next family vacation? What about the kids? What about my husband? Who's going to take care of them if I should pass? How the HELL am I going to tell my mom, who already lost her husband to Cancer?

Focus Gloria, focus. Stay strong, keep your cool. Results came in the next day (Friday, October 14th). I was referred to a Pulmonologist, who confirmed that indeed this was a mass, the size of an orange and it was in between my lungs pressing up against my trachea and windpipe. Ah, I see. That would explain the feeling of out of breath, when I just walk up my stairs at home.

The next day I am sitting with a Cardio Thorasic Surgeon (Dr. Stoneburner). Horrible bedside manner! I really wanted to just wring his neck with his cockiness. That appointment didn't go well, I left feeling hopeless. Amadeo had a bad feeling about this doctor as well. Amadeo did most of the talking for me because I was too distraght to speak. Towards the end of our appointment, Amadeo told Dr. Stoneburner, "look I will be honest with you, I want the best for my wife and we have another appointment with another surgeon."

We did have another appointment scheduled for Thursday, October 20th with Dr. McKenna. Amadeo asked around work and I asked on my mommy networking group to see if anyone had any great referrals to a Cardio Thoracic Surgeon. And, Dr. McKenna's name kept coming up. Apparently he is the best in the State of California and based out of Cedars Sinai.

So, after this horrible expeience with Dr. Stoneburner (or Dr. Asshole), as I'd like to put it, Amadeo immediately got ont he phone and begged and pleaded with Dr. McKenna's receptionist to PLEASE squeeze us in two days early. We got in!!! Dr. McKenna diagnosed me with lymphoma, which if you are going to have Cancer, this is the one to have. I know, no canccer is ever good to have, but if this is what God has planned for me, then I'm listening.

Got a biopsy scheduled for the next day Wednesday, October 19th. I have to say I fell in love with my husband ALL over again. I couldn't have asked for a better husband. He was phenomonal when I was going through all the emotions of being scared of being put under for this procedure. He never left my side, except when they asked him to wait while the procedure was being done. I had to fast for this procedure, so the night before I ate dinner around 8pm. The procedure was supposed to start around 10am, but the procedure didn't start until around 1pm. I was startving, thirsty and just plain mad!! Amadeo didn't eat, out of respect for me and he didn't want to make me hungrier. What a guyy!!! I am so far recovering okay. The incision hurts a bit, but I'm tough, I can handle it....LOL!!! I am not a fan of pain meds, so I'm relying on Advil and Tylenol to take care of business. I labored two kids, I can certainly handle this little cut on my body.

So here we are, waiting for the results. The results will take at least a week to get in. It will probably be sometime late next week before we get any news.  In the meantime, I need to live my life and hope for the best. There is a really great Sample sale that I am DYING to go to....oh wait, I should use a better word....LOL!!!!

This is a shock, I know. And I am so fortunate to have such great friends and family that are willing to help Amadeo and I with the kids, preparing meals for us and even offering to do a grocery run. I am so so thankful for each and every one of you. Words can not express the amount of gratitude I have.

This uninvited guest has shown up, but I hope to be showing it the door soon.

Love you guys!